Guest Blog: Author & Blogger Michelle Seitzer

March 17, 2012 – 7:48 am

The New Womanhood: An Age of Opportunity

by Michelle Seitzer

My mom just got her first job.Author Michelle Seitzer with her mom and family

Outside the home, that is. Since 1978, she has put well over 40 hours a week into raising her five daughters. Her commitment to that career is one that no paycheck could ever fully compensate her for, and it’s a gift I’m thankful for every day. She has also devoted countless hours to volunteering in her community, helping friends and neighbors through difficult times, caring for her aging parents, running a family business, and securing a massage therapy license. Job or not, she’s worked hard all these years.

But the fact remains: our experiences as young women have been completely different. At age 21, I started a full-time salaried position just a few months shy of my college graduation, and I’ve never been without work since. At age 21, Mom started her career in motherhood and has been occupied accordingly…until now.

After my youngest sister graduated from high school last summer, my mother knew it was time for a change. But what to do? That was the bigger question, and one that many boomer women are currently asking themselves.

We’re entering a totally new era in womanhood, and it’s exciting and terrifying. Women like my mother are exploring new identities outside of motherhood. They’re getting divorced and remarried, or enjoying the single life; they’re struggling with sandwich generation responsibilities, starting new jobs and business ventures, and are reinventing themselves in every possible way.

Women in my generation are getting married later and starting families even later still. We’re fighting career versus family battles, trying to balance “having it all” in this modern world that is rich with opportunities that our mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers just didn’t have.

Author Suzanne Braun Levine writes about all of these shifting roles and dynamics in her third and latest book, How We Love Now: Sex and the New Intimacy in Second Adulthood. Says Levine, “This is a new stage of life not available to women ever before in history. Most women now have 25 years or more after turning 50 to explore another adulthood.” (Read more about her book in my post, My Mother and the Necessary Reinvention of the Modern Woman.)

In other words, everyone’s new at this. Women in both generations are blazing trails for the women who will follow them. There is much to learn from one another in these transformational times, and we should take full advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to define who we are, who we would like to be, and who we want our daughters and granddaughters to become. All the while, we must remember those women who live in countries without educational, romantic, or career opportunities, without basic rights, without many of the comforts and freedoms that we have enjoyed for years. We must commit ourselves to advocating for these women, working alongside them, striving to create a better world for women, regardless of their geographic location.

Dream with me: what kind of future do you imagine for the women in your life?

Michelle Seitzer is a freelance writer who blogs regularly for SeniorsforLiving.com, 101Mobility.com, SeniorCareSociety.com, and a host of other boomer- and senior-focused sites. She’s also a contributing writer for BELLA magazine. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook; get links to published work or contact her at her blog.

Posted in Careers + Planning | Comments (3)

The Bums Rush: Limbaugh Apology

March 4, 2012 – 1:22 pm

Image of Converse Sneakers

Apology By Limbaugh – Isn’t!

Yesterday Rush Limbaugh issued an apology for his radio show tirade where he slandered (no other word) a young Georgetown University student by the name of Sandra Fluke.   He refers to his attempts at “humor”, and falls back on his gimmick that is based on “absurdity”. Really? So, what is he? Part-time entertainer? Comedian? Pundit? Voice of the right?  Full time misogynist?

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. Can’t have it both ways, Limbaugh. 

A hearty heigh-ho to the sponsors who have dropped him like a bad habit: Carbonite, Quicken Loans, LegalZoom, Sleep Train and Sleep Number Beds. Hope they stay the course.

Our thoughts on the apology:

“For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.”

Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines absurd as:

      • 1ab·surd  adj \əb-ˈsərd, -ˈzərd\
      • : ridiculously unreasonable, unsound, or incongruous <an absurd argument>

It follows that “ridiculously unreasonable” makes the assumption that one can make a judgement of what IS reasonable, i.e., that Ms. Fluke is not a ‘slut’ or a ‘prostitute’. However, in the purest form, that is not the case. I don’t know Ms. Fluke, nor did millions of Americans prior to her brief appearance before Congress and then as a result of Limbaugh’s rant.  So perhaps in some cases, can there not be, if not outright questions, at least the tiniest question in the back of some minds?   “She looks way too nice and is far too polite and soft-spoken to be for real..she must be covering up something if she wants to talk about this topic in public…Hm..maybe she is a slut.  Why else would he say that?”

In 1993, his ‘absurdity’ went here: “Everyone knows the Clintons have a cat. Socks is the White House cat. But did you know there is a White House dog?”  And up goes a picture of 13-year old Chelsea Clinton.   If my middle-aged memory serves as to his radio show, he went on to expound more fully on the physical characteristics of that one 13-year old child, one of which I also had at the time.

The point being that once again, his apology is not. And he knows it.

“I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress. I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities.”

Little hang-up there?  “I personally do not agree…” implies that you have the right to disagree. Call me crazy, but does Ms. Fluke not enjoy that same right to disagree? She didn’t make the decision to allow this content to be debated before Congress.

“What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow?”

Indeed, Mr. Limbaugh, indeed. I find it interesting that you have the very best health-care that money can buy because of your use of your Constitutionally-granted freedom of speech.  Your extraordinary access to a superior health care plan even supported you during your withdrawal from drugs. Hm… Yet a young female Georgetown University student paying for her own health-care needs cannot obtain the simplest form of female reproductive health care.

“Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit?”

What the…?

“In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone’s bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level.”

Oh, jeez, sorry we missed the more subtle points of your argument amid all the salacious name-calling and vicious verbal vomit. No one debates your right to “posit”, but that’s a pretty high-falutin’ 25-cent word to describe hateful rhetoric and sophisticated bullying strategies.

“My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.”

Humorous? Puh-leez. Translation: “Oh, sorry I caused such a big mess and lost my advertisers. You’re still a slut.”

 


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Rush Limbaugh Meets His Match: Sandra Fluke

March 1, 2012 – 8:31 pm

Sandra Fluke May Be Just What We Needed…

I’m so incredibly sick of Rush Limbaugh. Here’s a guy who’s a drug addict who rails against drug addicts. A crude loudmouth who purports to believe in free speech, but talks over anybody who tries to express an opinion other than his.   A schoolyard bully of the worst kind, so full of dis-ease about himself he’s gagging on it. A grown man spewing hateful things about a soft-spoke, intelligent college student, Sandra Fluke.

So, I guess it makes sense that he’s been married four times, has no children (who will own him, anyway), and has the gall to make  ignorant and inflammatory comments designed for no other reason than to give him face time and make him money. (Did I mention ignorant?)  He’s  so incredibly brave in front of the microphone. Perhaps he should make those remarks to that intelligent young lady to her face.

It’s really tempting to go on a tirade, but as Auntie Em siad to Almira Gulch, ” For twenty-three years, I’ve been dying to tell you what I thought of you! And now… well, being a Christian woman, I can’t say it“.  Time to be heard, ladies…this is NOT how we want to turn back the clock!

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Baby Boomer Women Go Gray!

February 18, 2012 – 5:41 pm

Baby Boomer Women are Going Gray & Loving It!Going gray in midlife: Helen Mirren

For many women in midlife, it’s totally tempting – the thought of going gray in midlife may cross your mind every time you shell out money to get your roots touched up, or have to make time out of your busy schedule to do it yourself. You may just be experiencing that level of appealing self-confidence women in midlife exude. Whatever the reason, deciding to go gray – or not – is a personal decision as unique as you are!

 

Going natural with our hair color as we age has taken on new life of late. Baby boomer women are going gray for any number of reasons:

Save Money: Although this may seem like a rather lame reason to give up something you’ve embraced for years, the fact is it’s true. A snazzy haircut is far less expensive than a cut and color no mater where you get your hair done!  That nagging sense of guilt that you have after leaving the hairdresser and relieving yourself of that hard-earned ….

Save Time: women in their 40′s and 50′s are busy….with kids and jobs perhaps, or maybe your kids are grown and you are taking this time for yourself to really reach for your career goals. Today’s women in their 60′s and beyond aren’t sitting home waiting for life to happen either – they’re out there, many of them still working! Admittedly, it can be a pain to have to give up your free time to get your hair done.

Natural: Chemical-free is always good! As midlife approaches, a lot of women want to jettison the number of chemicals they use throughout their daily lives and replace with natural, organic products or lifestyle.

Trendy: You’ have heard it: “Gray Is The New Black”. Quite simply, gray is in. Cool. Fashionable. Smart. A ‘la Helen Mirren!

Fun:  Let’s face it – your hair color isn’t permanent if you don’t want it to be! Going gray can represent a whole new direction for you, and can feel adventurous and sort of like risk-taking without the risk!

Whatever your thoughts about going gray in midlife, it’s a trend not likely to go away any time soon!

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Fabulous Fashion Tips from Ellen Lubin-Sherman

February 16, 2012 – 3:53 pm

Fabulous at 50 (And Beyond) by Ellen Lubin-Sherman, the author of “The Essentials of Fabulous Because “Whatever” Doesn’t Work Here Anymore”!

I refuse to understand why turning 50 (or 60 for that matter) should have a negative impact on the way you present yourself to the world.  This is the time of your life when your foot is on the gas, not the brake.

At the age of 50, you have (hopefully) accepted yourself and released yourself from the bondage of abnegating and derisive “inner speak.”  If you haven’t, I urge you to read The Essentials of Fabulous as I wrote that book to help everyone rewire their brains so they can catapult themselves to the very top.  By the way, the view from the top of the mountain is astonishing.

Let’s consider Anna Wintour, Vogue Magazine’s editor who looks smashing in every photograph.  She has her look down pat:  She is a minimalist as she keeps everything simple but simply elegant.  Through her presentation, her message is clear:  I’m fascinated by life and the opportunities in front of me.  Age is irrelevant.

At 50-plus, you should be putting style before fashion.  In fact, I would focus my energies solely on style in order to build a wardrobe that’s timeless.  Timeless is a fitted pantsuit that can be worn with either a crisp white shirt or a turtleneck (leave the dowdy jewel-neck sweater at home…you need to look of the moment) or a pair of grey flannel pants that can be worn with a brown, amber, camel, navy or grey sweater and a beautiful loafer.

At 50, you ought to be having fun with clothes to telegraph your ease and confidence in being a woman with a sure eye for details.  This could include a full skirt that hits the mid-calf worn with a fitted shirt or a crocheted slouchy sweater and thick matte stockings.  Another modern look is a soigné pencil skirt, a fitted blouse and fishnet stockings with an unexpected shoe such as a high-heeled oxford.  No one in her 20s would dare wear a look that sophisticated but you can.

My style mantra has always been to throw caution to the wind but that does not mean wearing leggings with a wrap-around sweater so that everything is on full display.  Au contraire.  Leggings look absolutely fabulous under a long skirt or dress instead of the predictable pair of stockings.  Shop your closet – there are things you haven’t worn because you (mistakenly) thought they were too young for you such as an argyle vest (fantastic with a Peter Pan collared shirt) or a hand-tooled leather bag from the 70s (very cool to mix vintage and new).  Avoid any temptation to shop in the same department or store that caters to teenagers. You have one goal and that is to look supremely confident, smart, tailored and polished.

My list for the essentials of a fabulous wardrobe when you’re 50 and older:

  • A perfect pair of trouser jeans in a dark rinse; a few white shirts that will give everything a lift (J. Crew has many versions in stores and on-line)
  • A chunky sweater/blazer that takes the blazer silhouette and adds a twist
  • A pair of linen or wool trousers that give you a long, lean line
  • A lightweight wool, raincoat or winter coat that hits the knee in either a gutsy plaid or the classic camel, navy or black
  • A boldly striped scarf instead of something “cautious and dowdy”
  • A messenger bag in either cotton or felted wool (go to www.esty.com and look for something artsy and stylish)
  • …and a pair of driving gloves that have unbeatable flair.

Attitude trumps age.  If you think you’re fabulous, you will be fabulous.  Make sure your grooming is impeccable – sheer make-up, an easy hairstyle, imaginative accessories and a smile that conveys a warmth and accessibility that’s seductive at any age. Then go rock the essential pieces that tell the world you’re someone to know!

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