For many women in midlife, it’s totally tempting – the thought of going gray in midlife may cross your mind every time you shell out money to get your roots touched up, or have to make time out of your busy schedule to do it yourself. You may just be experiencing that level of appealing self-confidence women in midlife exude. Whatever the reason, deciding to go gray – or not – is a personal decision as unique as you are!

Going natural with our hair color as we age has taken on new life of late. Baby boomer women are going gray for any number of reasons:

Save Money: Although this may seem like a rather lame reason to give up something you’ve embraced for years, the fact is it’s true. A snazzy haircut is far less expensive than a cut and color no mater where you get your hair done!  That nagging sense of guilt that you have after leaving the hairdresser and relieving yourself of that hard-earned ….

Save Time: women in their 40′s and 50′s are busy….with kids and jobs perhaps, or maybe your kids are grown and you are taking this time for yourself to really reach for your career goals. Today’s women in their 60′s and beyond aren’t sitting home waiting for life to happen either – they’re out there, many of them still working! Admittedly, it can be a pain to have to give up your free time to get your hair done.

Natural: Chemical-free is always good! As midlife approaches, a lot of women want to jettison the number of chemicals they use throughout their daily lives and replace with natural, organic products or lifestyle.

Trendy: You’ have heard it: “Gray Is The New Black”. Quite simply, gray is in. Cool. Fashionable. Smart. A ‘la Helen Mirren!

Fun:  Let’s face it – your hair color isn’t permanent if you don’t want it to be! Going gray can represent a whole new direction for you, and can feel adventurous and sort of like risk-taking without the risk!

Whatever your thoughts about going gray in midlife, it’s a trend not likely to go away any time soon!

I refuse to understand why turning 50 (or 60 for that matter) should have a negative impact on the way you present yourself to the world.  This is the time of your life when your foot is on the gas, not the brake.

At the age of 50, you have (hopefully) accepted yourself and released yourself from the bondage of abnegating and derisive “inner speak.”  If you haven’t, I urge you to read The Essentials of Fabulous as I wrote that book to help everyone rewire their brains so they can catapult themselves to the very top.  By the way, the view from the top of the mountain is astonishing.

Let’s consider Anna Wintour, Vogue Magazine’s editor who looks smashing in every photograph.  She has her look down pat:  She is a minimalist as she keeps everything simple but simply elegant.  Through her presentation, her message is clear:  I’m fascinated by life and the opportunities in front of me.  Age is irrelevant.

At 50-plus, you should be putting style before fashion.  In fact, I would focus my energies solely on style in order to build a wardrobe that’s timeless.  Timeless is a fitted pantsuit that can be worn with either a crisp white shirt or a turtleneck (leave the dowdy jewel-neck sweater at home…you need to look of the moment) or a pair of grey flannel pants that can be worn with a brown, amber, camel, navy or grey sweater and a beautiful loafer.

At 50, you ought to be having fun with clothes to telegraph your ease and confidence in being a woman with a sure eye for details.  This could include a full skirt that hits the mid-calf worn with a fitted shirt or a crocheted slouchy sweater and thick matte stockings.  Another modern look is a soigné pencil skirt, a fitted blouse and fishnet stockings with an unexpected shoe such as a high-heeled oxford.  No one in her 20s would dare wear a look that sophisticated but you can.

My style mantra has always been to throw caution to the wind but that does not mean wearing leggings with a wrap-around sweater so that everything is on full display.  Au contraire.  Leggings look absolutely fabulous under a long skirt or dress instead of the predictable pair of stockings.  Shop your closet – there are things you haven’t worn because you (mistakenly) thought they were too young for you such as an argyle vest (fantastic with a Peter Pan collared shirt) or a hand-tooled leather bag from the 70s (very cool to mix vintage and new).  Avoid any temptation to shop in the same department or store that caters to teenagers. You have one goal and that is to look supremely confident, smart, tailored and polished.

My list for the essentials of a fabulous wardrobe when you’re 50 and older:

• A perfect pair of trouser jeans in a dark rinse; a few white shirts that will give everything a lift (J. Crew has many versions in stores and on-line)
• A chunky sweater/blazer that takes the blazer silhouette and adds a twist
• A pair of linen or wool trousers that give you a long, lean line
• A lightweight wool, raincoat or winter coat that hits the knee in either a gutsy plaid or the classic camel, navy or black
• A boldly striped scarf instead of something “cautious and dowdy”
• A messenger bag in either cotton or felted wool (go to www.esty.com and look for something artsy and stylish)
• …and a pair of driving gloves that have unbeatable flair.

Attitude trumps age.  If you think you’re fabulous, you will be fabulous.  Make sure your grooming is impeccable – sheer make-up, an easy hairstyle, imaginative accessories and a smile that conveys a warmth and accessibility that’s seductive at any age. Then go rock the essential pieces that tell the world you’re someone to know!

Empty nest is not just for moms – the whole family can be affected.  Even pets can be sad when a family member leaves for college! If you have a high school senior, it’s only a few months before they graduate, and many of them are mentally moved out already by now!

For this Mom, it varied from year to year.  Initially – college freshman year – it was a process  to cope – it started like  a persistent case of asthma that waxes and wanes, only to appear again to leave you breathless. Sophomore year it was better – “Is it time for him to go back yet?”  Junior year it started again with a semester in Spain – alone in a foreign country – without your MOTHER? Really? Of course it ended with a glorious, life-changing experience traveling through many countries, meeting many people, and he didn’t even lose his passport, wallet, or luggage once. Hummph.

But  when it comes to pets, empty nest is like a fresh heartbreak.  They miss their “brothers” or “sisters” when they go back to school. But  – just as with people – absence makes the heart grow fonder! It’s fun to do a video chat with the kid and the pet – weird, but fun.

Conversely, if you don’t have a pet, getting one can actually help relieve the symptoms of empty nest syndrome!  A pet can definitely help you through that time, particularly if you’re the only one left at home. Something to think about!

The death of Whitney Houston was a surprise and a sad discovery for the world yesterday.  With a voice that seemed to come right from God to us, her presence and hope for more to come has faded.

Her voice transcended all common denominators; she soared above the fads, the typical, the star-of-the-day. Her style and grace gave her performances a quality that remains unmatched, and that inspired countless others. She owned the 1980′s and much of the ’90′s.  Her gradual professional decline and private and personal struggles with drugs and alcohol made us hold our breath and pray, “Please, God, not this one…“

There will never be another rendition of the Star Spangled Banner like hers at Super Bowl XXV…powerful, respectful, joyous and seemingly – breathlessly – effortless as if from another place…

Watch this video on YouTube.

]]> http://www.fiftyisthenewforty.net/inspiration/death-of-an-icon-whitney-houston/feed/ 0 http://www.fiftyisthenewforty.net/life-after-50/terry-radigan/ http://www.fiftyisthenewforty.net/life-after-50/terry-radigan/#comments Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:59:33 +0000 psissons http://www.fiftyisthenewforty.net/?p=2956 The Anti-Valentines Day Album?

Dubbed the Anti-Valentines day album, Terry Radigan beats a path down the road to reclamation from betrayal and emotional pain in her latest album The Breakdown of a Breakup. Better known for writing music for artists like Faith Hill, Trisha Yearwood and Pam Tillis, this one is personal.  A collection of songs that is an unabashed roadmap along a passionate trail of heartbreak – disbelief, anger, pain and acceptance.

The pain of a broken heart is visibly drawn in this raw emotional arrangement…music and vocals carry the listener from despair to hope.   No holds barred in this album – Radigan is unabashedly truthful and straight-up.   Her lyrics range from the sweetness of a poignant memory in Beautiful Lie:

Lie to me
It was so easy
Cause I believed in you
Should I have known it was
To (sic) good to be true

…to the visceral, gutsy Mistake.  Vocals by Radigan range from rich and sultry to a wonderfully cool, unguarded voice.  A lyrical canvas of love, loss, fear and anger – and the perfect anti-Valentines Day gift! Check out this prevew: Breakdown of a Breakup.

We recently had the opportunity to ask Terry about the new album:

Q. Your new album is an honest, raw, emotional journey through heartbreak: how did you get to the place where you could write about this?

A. It took quite a bit of time to process it all and after about 6 months I was able to write about it. Each of the songs helped me to really put it all into place and get a bit of perspective. It was as though each song was a rung on a ladder & helped to lift me out of a very dark place.

Q. In “The Truth”, you share your fear about where you are at this time in your life; what would you say to other women in the same place?
A I’d try & reassure them that just about everyone who goes through a breakup in mid life might be left questioning / doubting themselves and that it’s okay. It’s also okay to “lie” to yourself a bit & fake it until you make it to the other side.

Q. How the writing and release of this album help you move on after your breakup?

A Every song felt like a letter to myself & really helped me to understand why I was feeling so incredibly sad. When I wrote “Beautiful Lie” I had spent the better part of that day roaming around my house & being really angry with myself for not being able to pull it together. It was only after a very late night of writing B.L & listening to it that I was able to process the feelings and put them away.

Q. I’m guessing you hit a chord with this album – have you heard from a lot of women?

A The music hasn’t been officially released but I have heard from woman at live performances and they’ve told me that my story reflected their own.  I have also been told that the music really brings a sense of community at a time when it’s easy to feel very isolated.

Q. Are you really “Anti-Valentines Day”?

A Absolutely not! Being in a wonderful relationship is something to celebrate though I think showing it in little ways everyday means more to me than a dozen roses once a year.

Q. What would you say to another women going through the same experience during midlife?

A It can be a magical time. Getting older certainly has it’s physical & cosmetic drawbacks but the wisdom & confidence & depth that come with it are pretty damn wonderful.

Q. What is next for you? Hopefully not another breakup cd !

A I’m always hard at work as a songwriter & producer so that’ll keep on and I look forward to where the very winding road leads.

Having to pack up Christmas isn’t a lot of fun. Once the grandkids go home, the gifts are put away and even the dog is pooped, it’s time to put away the wrappings and trappings of the holiday. These tips for packing Christmas ornaments and decorations can make next year a little easier!

• If you weed a few things out of your Christmas decorations each year…maybe throw out some garland that was getting spindly, or toss a favorite ornament due to breakage or wear.  Maybe you gave a special ornament to one of your kids – it’s easy to forget from one year to the next what you did (go figure). Solution: make a short list and lay it on top of the box of ornaments so you see it when you open it up. No more tearing apart the boxes looking for something you don’t even have any more. You can also make short notes on anything that you think will need attention next year, i.e., short on lights, angel is looking dumpy, etc.
• Another version of this is to get a small blank book and take an ornament inventory.  You can use it to make notes about things that happened on the holiday, special times and how new family traditions started. Your kids will love this later on.
• Christmas cards come in all varieties, colors, textures and qualities. One of the very best uses for Christmas cards is to cut the front flap off the cards, put them in a plastic bag and save them to use as gift tags next year. They are absolutely elegant, you have lots of room to write on them and they have all sorts of great colors and textures that dress up even the most simple wrapping. You can be sure no one else will have anything nearly as lovely as these. Put a hole in them with a hole punch, run a ribbon through, and they’re good to go. Voila!
• Use clear storage bins for packing all of your ornaments away.  Even though the box is labeled, being able to see what is actually in them goes a long way toward organized unpacking next year!
• Store indoor decorations stored inside, outdoor decorations outside. That includes, lights, garlands, wreaths, extension cords and timers.
• If you get those great candy or fruit gifts that come stacked in boxes, save the boxes for next year. They are the perfect cookie, candy or gift boxes for your own treats next year!

You don’t need to buy an expensive Christmas ornament organizer – save time, money and your sanity with a little planning ahead!  Happy New Year!

Well, it’s official. With the recent news that Madonna is performing at the Super bowl half-time show, the miserable truth is out. None of us are transcending the over-50-is-one-foot-in-the-grave attitude any time soon. Not even Madonna.

Safe. That’s the adjective used to describe her selection as a performer for the NFL show. Safe.  Really? Although I’m aware that Madonna’s early persona really isn’t much of a barn-burner in today’s world in terms of shock value – and we probably still have her to thank for that -  I guess I was looking the other way when she stepped over into passé.

If this can happen to Madonna – the queen of edgy -the woman whose determined approach toward shining a light on sexuality, feminism and artistic imagery crossed all lines – where does that leave the rest of us?  Who would have thought Madonna would be “old school” at the young old age of 53?   Sure, she’s a baby boomer – but this is a woman who blazed a trail as a visionary performer; who shocked the public and retooled how we saw ourselves.  I’m guessing she can still out-sing, out-dance and out-perform the majority of the more recent – a.k.a. younger – A-list group.

The Hollywood Reporter writes, “At 53-years-old, the singer is being labeled as a “safe” choice for the NBC program, which has repeatedly opted for less controversial performers since Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake’s 2004 wardrobe malfunction.” I don’t know, I never thought of Janet Jackson or Justin Timberlake as particularly “controversial” other than that one unfortunate incident.

Can it be? Is Madonna performing at the Super Bowl 2012 half time show really a safe choice? Possibly.

So…maybe Madonna’s scorched earth policy toward conventional mores has mellowed a bit. On the other hand, her current persona may have more to do with where we are as a society today than any focused artistic statement. After all, it’s quite possible we’ve hit a plateau when it comes to shocking and outrageous being synonymous with wearing a meat dress. I’m just sayin’.

Few things in life are more frustrating than The Purse From Hell. You know the one – you know the moment you see it it’s for you. It beckons to you from across the department store aisle. It looks perfect…right size, gorgeous color, just the right amount of handy pockets and the perfect strap length. Sweet!

You joyously pay whatever the asking price is, bring it home, transfer your wallet, pens, hairbrush, gum, cell phone, makeup and all your goodies, and start your day with a brand new outlook. Nothing like it! But as the weeks go by, something isn’t quite right. You’re in line at the store, and again you can’t find your keys. You look through all the gazillion pockets, struggling to keep the lining in place…you panic, start asking the store clerk if she’s seen them, retrace your steps through the store looking at every shelf to see if you put them down somewhere, then hear them jingling in the bottom of the purse as you are sprinting toward your car to check the parking lot. And this scenario occurs again, and again, and again…. Aaargh!

If you are an experienced fashonista, you may have already been through this fashion accessory nightmare before. You may be one of the unfortunate individuals who discover they’ve got one. A “Purse from Hell”.

These are the stuff legends are made of. You may reorganize, sort, and discard some contents. You may go to great lengths to mark the pockets so you know what is where – wallet in one, cosmetics in another, receipts in yet another, to no avail. Your personal items continue to disappear into the folds of this evil accessory.

Alas, there is only one solution: get rid of it. Completely. Don’t harbor thoughts of secreting it in your closet for another day “just in case”. If your recycling soul won’t let you throw it away, make a furtive trip to the Goodwill store and stuff it in the box. Just remember you are forwarding this fashion accessory nightmare to some other unsuspecting woman.

You can be more wary on your next purse excursion, although the purse from hell looks like every other normal purse out there. Be careful. Be very careful…

With the last child in college, the emotions of empty nest well behind us, the future looks pretty sweet, really. One more year to go paying for college, with both of us working full time to bring that debt down to a manageable level for him when he gets out.  Our son had the privilege to be able to study abroad in Madrid for an entire semester from August until early December.  He worked all summer to earn the money to spend during this trip. As Thanksgiving drew close and his 21st birthday on the horizon, we decided to take advantage of this opportunity and go visit him in his host city of Madrid.  (An uncharacteristically last-minute decision for a couple that can count the number of vacations in the last twenty years on one hand.)  Yet we felt great about it – we’re finally at that place in our lives where we can decide to take a trip like this and not agonize over it.  Ain’t midlife grand. So, off we go.

Madrid was amazing. We walked endless miles through different sections of the city. We savored chocolate and churros at Chocolatería San Ginés in Puerta del Sol. We rode the Metro and browsed the shops and sights in Plaza Mayor. We took a bus ride to the ancient city of Toledo, home to Cervantes, and where the Castle of LaMancha still sits. Our son accompanied us to the Prado Museum, where he shared his recently acquired knowledge on the work and life of Velázquez.  We had a memorable and amazing meal with his host family in a lovely restaurant in their Goya neighborhood. The best part was they don’t speak a word of English, and our son played interpreter the whole evening. The food was incredible, the company more so.  A seemingly ideal vacation.

Then came the email. We finished up our vacation under a pall of negative expectations. Monday morning brought the news: my husband’s job had been eliminated. Yet another solid American company now split between Mexico and abroad with just a scattering of its former workforce that remains shuffled off to other locations in the US. Their loss, in my opinion.  Now the buzz words include stuff like ‘best practices in downsizing’. Whatever. And yes, there is an age bias in many instances, not all. There’s a huge unemployed baby boomer demographic out there.

What is up with profitable American companies moving their operations daily to Mexico, China and Europe? Where is innovation? The notion of steady growth? Reinvestment? I’m so sick of hearing about this. I want to go to Mexico and see where all these jobs are going. Are those people living in new waterfront condos and driving new cars?  ‘Cause if they’re not, they’re totally getting screwed. Yet at the same time, I’m one of those baby boomer kids. I see opportunity everywhere! want to see NEW business. SMALL business growth. NEW IDEAS in technology right alongside those manufacturing jobs that we’re so hell bent on giving away.

So as we enter midlife we, like many others, are faced with changes.   The positive side: our kids are grown, we don’t have a mountain of debt, our health is good and we are both resourceful, high energy people. The negative side: Having to regroup to such a degree…the decisions are big now as they pertain to our own futures.  The fact that we will be working indefinitely as we grow older wasn’t anything either of us ever anticipated – who knew? But it is what it is, as they say, and we will cross each bridge as we come to them.  So saying “your position has been eliminated” isn’t all that scary…more like a challenge. As they say, necessity is the mother of invention! We never considered either of us would be an unemployed professional or worker in our mid-fifties, but sometimes opportunity knocks very, very softly.  There is an infinite amount of experience, knowledge and energy in the unemployed fifty-plus group out there, and they’re all just walking around rubbing their hands together and deciding how to focus their energies. It may turn out that those best practices in downsizing should have included those unemployed baby boomers after all….

Oh, yeah, by the way…our son’s degree? Economics.

Enter Mark Ostrofsky, a leader in affiliate marketing who attempts to break away from the crowd of internet moneymaking “how-to’s” to deliver a product with real substance with Get Rich Click! his guide on how to make money on the internet.

Carving out a place among the countless internet “how-to’s” that promise overnight success is a feat in itself.  Earning money online through e-commerce, pay-per-click advertising, e-publishing, affiliate marketing and creative domain management is generally considered an area of expertise that beckons many but rewards few.

As CEO of ClickBank, a highly successful online digital retailer, Ostrofsky is one of the few who actually has the professional experience to share pertinent and meaningful data – and he does. The subject matter he delivers is covered by thousands of professional bloggers, authors, consultants and industry professionals every day, yet he manages to distinguish this book as a genuine industry resource tool via a “just the facts” approach.  An organized outline for each chapter includes research, opportunity, case studies and a suggested plan of action that results in a value-added product for would-be online entrepreneurs.

By providing direction, real tools and tips throughout, there is something here for everyone looking to become either comfortable or proficient at making money in the digital world.  Although he wanders into some areas of expertise not exactly his forte, specifically search engine optimization, he recognizes the importance of it and includes a clever workaround, dedicating an entire chapter to a website that is the industry standard for best practices in this critical area. Lending confirmation to the author’s genuine objective to teach is a huge bonus in the form of an exhaustive list of hundreds of resources and site links to proven leaders in several key areas, along with a number of lesser-known but highly relevant sources to explore.  This is an easy read, with a direct but relaxed tone and a passion for what he does that comes through loud and clear.

If the benchmark for success in a how-to is whether or not there is a concrete take away, this one is a winner for anyone with real interest in making money on the internet.